Dear Stephen,
I work in sales at a manufacturer, and I’m leaving soon because I accepted a job with another manufacturer. Same job, more money, sort of a competitor, but not a direct competitor. It’s a slightly larger company with more potential for career growth, and it feels like the right time for a change. I plan to give two weeks’ notice as a courtesy, but if my boss asks me to leave that same day, I’m prepared for that too. My feelings won’t be hurt. Maybe he will counteroffer, but honestly, I’m ready to move on.
Here’s the thing: as ready as I am to make this change, I suddenly have pause. My new manager asked me not to tell my current employer where I’m going to work. I will still be calling on some of the same customers — A&D firms and dealers — but the product category is different enough that I’m not really taking business with me.
Have you ever heard of this? I’ve worked here for five years, and it seems reasonable that my current boss will ask where I’m going. Do I tell him the new company asked me not to say anything? In two weeks, they’ll find out anyway. I’m not violating a non-compete or anything like that. I didn’t ask my new employer “why” because I didn’t want to make an issue of it, but when I mentioned it to my wife, she thought it sounded shady — and now I think it’s kind of strange too.
Is it? Does this happen?
Signed, What Have I Signed Up For?
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Dear Signed, Up
Have I heard of this? Yes. Does it happen? Also, yes. But in my experience, when a company tells a new employee to hide where they are going, it’s usually because there is something culturally “off” somewhere in the equation.
Unfortunately, you left too much out of your letter for me to fully understand the dynamics at play and give you a complete answer. Sometimes a company makes this request because they are genuinely concerned about a counteroffer. If your current boss knows the people at the new organization — or knows something about the reputation of your future manager that you don’t — the new company may fear losing you before you even start.
You are clearly ready for a change. Got it. You interviewed, accepted a new opportunity, and mentally moved on. Got that too. But then the new company tells you to keep their identity a secret? That’s where I pause.
Did you notice anything unusual during the interview process? Were meetings oddly rushed or overly discreet? Is it possible they are replacing someone who does not yet know they are being fired? These things happen more often than people realize.
And here is another angle that people rarely discuss
- transparency matters because reputations matter. Particularly in the contract furniture and design industry, this is still a relationship business. People move around, companies merge, competitors become clients, and today’s manager may become tomorrow’s customer. Starting a new chapter by withholding basic information from a company you gave five years to just feels unnecessary to me.
It may as simple as your new boss being afraid you will get a counteroffer. Counteroffers are also far more common today than they used to be. And the smart counteroffer is no longer just about money. Good companies now ask deeper questions: Why are you leaving? What is missing? What would make you stay? Sometimes the process of getting another offer is exactly what forces your current employer to recognize your value.(And I tell smart employers to “counter” today, easier and cheaper than hiring someone new!)
Years ago, recruiters would almost automatically tell candidates never to accept a counteroffer. Today, if someone asks me for career advice, I sometimes tell people that finding a new job can be the fastest route to improving the one they already have. Sorry, but it’s true.
Now, to answer your actual question: no, this practice is not unheard of, but it is far from the norm. And no matter how many times I encounter it — even when it comes from one of my own clients — I still think it feels strange, suspicious, and unnecessarily secretive.
You do not owe your current employer every detail of your life. But if you are suddenly being asked to behave like you are entering witness protection instead of taking a sales job, I would slow down and ask yourself why.
You do not necessarily need to stay where you are. But personally? I would think twice before jumping into a culture that starts the relationship by asking you to hide something.
None of the major manufacturers, dealers, or companies with real confidence in their culture would ever make this into a cloak-and-dagger exercise.
So, in this case: secrets. What are they good for?
Absolutely nothing.
Signed, Stephen